🛟I want to be honest without being graphic, and real without reliving everything.🛟

🎄The holidays were harder than I expected.🎅

Old doors 🚪 cracked open. Old patterns tried to resurface. And for a moment, I felt the emotional pull I worked so hard to escape.

I brought it to God — not polished, not strong — just honest.

Not because I wanted to go backward,

but because healing isn’t linear, especially when trauma, grief, and spiritual confusion are involved. Even Scripture reminds us that the heart can feel weary while the spirit still longs for freedom.

What matters most is this:

God gave me awareness.

I recognized the danger.

I stopped engaging.

And I chose peace again.

There was a time when I believed one misstep meant I had disappointed God. Now I understand something deeper — He doesn’t withdraw when we struggle. He draws closer. Conviction isn’t condemnation; it’s protection wrapped in love.

In this season, God is teaching me that:

• Distance isn’t punishment — it’s protection
• Silence isn’t weakness — it’s wisdom
• And obedience doesn’t always look loud or public

Sometimes obedience looks like not responding.

Like choosing rest over explanation.

Like trusting God to fight battles I no longer need to engage in.

I don’t share this to dwell on the past, but to remind anyone reading this — including myself — that God does not revoke healing because we get tired. He restores us when we return to truth.

Today, I woke up lighter than I have in days.

Not because everything is resolved, but because I chose to return to where God has always been — steady, present, and faithful.

And that choice matters.

A Prayer for the Weary Heart

God,

Thank You for being patient with me — even when I’m frustrated with myself.

Thank You for protecting me when I don’t always protect myself perfectly.

Help me discern what deserves my energy and what needs to stay in Your hands.

Strengthen my self-control, not through fear, but through peace.

Quiet every voice that brings confusion, blame, or shame — and replace it with Your truth.

Teach me to rest without guilt.

To obey without fear.

And to trust that You are guiding me, even when the path feels slow.

I choose peace again today.

I choose You.

Amen.